OMG! Prof. Row what is up with not grading me? Let me explain something, my self-esteem and existential anxiety-level are dependent on two things: first and foremost, my weight, and second, my grades. Without theselittle letters and numbers to rank my worth I am entirely lost. There'sno innate understanding of self-value in Gabby's world. It comes from the outside, from scales and mirrors, and professors like yourself. I appreciate your constructive criticism on my creative response, as a student it really does mean alot to know that a teacher took the time to read and respond to your work but...there is no grade. I looked its not there! And just judging from your comments, you have to know, I am imagining horrible things like Cs and B-s. Now if this is where I stand on the particular assignment that is fine, I respect your authority as a teacher and will accept the bellow A grade stoically. I'm not one to make a scene and promise to wait to be in my car before I start crying. But, you see I need to know what it is, like ripping off a band aid just give it to me... maybe like a B+? I didn't know our poems had to be like , good, (just between us and whoever is reading this blog I'm actually a pretty bad writer) but I thought the grades would be based not just on our work but also on how we interpreted and managed our subjects work, which I was really very thoughtful about.
Im taking a deep breath. O.k. My grade is what it is. I am letting it go. I am visualizing. I put it in a box I wrap it up and throw it off the steepest cliff into the ocean.
I am not my grades or my not so wonderful paper comments. I am whole. I am perfect. I exsit in a world beyond words and ego and persons, everything melds together and I am just a part,not seperate,impossible to distinguish,just a peice of seeweed floating in the ocean.
And I lost a pound, so, despite being gradeless, my existence is obviously still justified.
Monday, November 3, 2008
10-30-08 Week Nine Missed Class :(
I did not make it to class today because I was sick. Not to sick to get out of bed but to sick to be useful. So I missed the vote, which is fine, because I like so many authors we picked Im sure some good names will emerge.
Lets see what can I write about at all related to this class...um well, I started reading Karen Russell's book only the first ten pages or so but so far I really like it. Also recently I went to a TCNJ deaf hearing connection event of a man promoting his memoir. And it was amazing, like really good, I started thinking maybe we could book him for the VWS, but of course his book is not fiction it is a memoir and I think it is the story, not his prose, that got it published. But his anecdotes and personality were so consuming I could have listened to him for hours.
That's all I have for this post but I will compensate with longer ones next week.
Lets see what can I write about at all related to this class...um well, I started reading Karen Russell's book only the first ten pages or so but so far I really like it. Also recently I went to a TCNJ deaf hearing connection event of a man promoting his memoir. And it was amazing, like really good, I started thinking maybe we could book him for the VWS, but of course his book is not fiction it is a memoir and I think it is the story, not his prose, that got it published. But his anecdotes and personality were so consuming I could have listened to him for hours.
That's all I have for this post but I will compensate with longer ones next week.
10-27-08 Week Nine 2nd Next Years VWS
Professor Row,
If you are reading this, which I doubt, I was wondering how to go about finding where I stand grade wise in your course. I think Ill bring this up with you in class or office hours as well (that is probably most appropriate) but it was on my mind and I know some other students are wondering as well so I thought I would mention it in my blog and maybe you could explain your grading process to the class.
So today in class we went over the first round of authors and there were some really interesting people brought up. I really liked Arielle Greenberg who wrote the poem about the house/abusive relationship. Also the woman who wrote about the pregnancy test. When reading poetry I typically encounter the assumption of a male perspective and by switching this norm her poem really highlighted the subtle but present male pov that most literature, poetry, culture comes out of.
Taking a pregnancy test and having it be negative is a typically, somewhat universal, female experience, and Rachel Zuker did not explain anything. Most women know what one bar means, men I'm not so sure. The moment of peeing the the stick and looking is played over and over in films and often I feel like they don't get it right, seems like a man directed the scene. The familiarity of the female experience is so implicit to her poem that it is almost too obvious to recognize. I just read it and thought yes, that's how it is. And then looked around at the men in the class and thought, theyre really not ever going to get this. They understand the poem but the expereince is both private and uniquley female out of a mans grasp.
Great class discussion and presentations, really enjoyable as always.
If you are reading this, which I doubt, I was wondering how to go about finding where I stand grade wise in your course. I think Ill bring this up with you in class or office hours as well (that is probably most appropriate) but it was on my mind and I know some other students are wondering as well so I thought I would mention it in my blog and maybe you could explain your grading process to the class.
So today in class we went over the first round of authors and there were some really interesting people brought up. I really liked Arielle Greenberg who wrote the poem about the house/abusive relationship. Also the woman who wrote about the pregnancy test. When reading poetry I typically encounter the assumption of a male perspective and by switching this norm her poem really highlighted the subtle but present male pov that most literature, poetry, culture comes out of.
Taking a pregnancy test and having it be negative is a typically, somewhat universal, female experience, and Rachel Zuker did not explain anything. Most women know what one bar means, men I'm not so sure. The moment of peeing the the stick and looking is played over and over in films and often I feel like they don't get it right, seems like a man directed the scene. The familiarity of the female experience is so implicit to her poem that it is almost too obvious to recognize. I just read it and thought yes, that's how it is. And then looked around at the men in the class and thought, theyre really not ever going to get this. They understand the poem but the expereince is both private and uniquley female out of a mans grasp.
Great class discussion and presentations, really enjoyable as always.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
10-23-08 Week Eight Monday Beckman Reading
The Beckman reading was wonderful. He reminds me of a mix between my uncle and my first boyfriend. I appreciated hearing his poetry read allowed. When his poems are spoken they have a humor to them, there were times when I wanted to laugh but no one else was, till he read his last one. I also liked his whole attitude and style with the beard and the linen, it was like, where did this person come from?, you know? he was delightfully quirky. It really blows my mind when I encounter people like Beckman who have taken this whole different approach to life and somehow made it work. I always wonder if its worth it, seems like so much work, but then again so does a 9 to 5.
I noticed when Tracy read she looked up at the audience. And Her reading was superb, the style fit her poems, but I absolutely loved how when Beckman read he did not look up from his book once. It gave you some privacy as the listener, it was more of a performance than an exchange, like an actor not acknowledging the audience. Instead of making sure I was smiling in case he made eye contact with me I could loose myself.
It is hard for me to handle anything that takes itself seriously, I have an ironic nature. Beckmans poems seem to teeter on a self-aware mockery of poetry and the real thing. What I was interpreting as pretension when I read his written work is actually a type of obliviousness. I guess what I mean is hes not "trying" to be a poet (like I am when I write poetry) he is the real deal, and because of this his poems can sound arrogant, when they are simply so into being poems they are not constantly trying to be unpretentious. They allow the persona or speakers to be as loud, ridiculous, and cliche as they wish.
Beckman is awesome and adorable and his reading was a great experience.
I loved the line "every night I go to bed promising to quit smoking"-- it is sentences like that, almost thoughts, that get me.
I noticed when Tracy read she looked up at the audience. And Her reading was superb, the style fit her poems, but I absolutely loved how when Beckman read he did not look up from his book once. It gave you some privacy as the listener, it was more of a performance than an exchange, like an actor not acknowledging the audience. Instead of making sure I was smiling in case he made eye contact with me I could loose myself.
It is hard for me to handle anything that takes itself seriously, I have an ironic nature. Beckmans poems seem to teeter on a self-aware mockery of poetry and the real thing. What I was interpreting as pretension when I read his written work is actually a type of obliviousness. I guess what I mean is hes not "trying" to be a poet (like I am when I write poetry) he is the real deal, and because of this his poems can sound arrogant, when they are simply so into being poems they are not constantly trying to be unpretentious. They allow the persona or speakers to be as loud, ridiculous, and cliche as they wish.
Beckman is awesome and adorable and his reading was a great experience.
I loved the line "every night I go to bed promising to quit smoking"-- it is sentences like that, almost thoughts, that get me.
Friday, October 17, 2008
10-17-08 Week Seven (review of Narrative)
In the online world any site claiming to offer new “quality” prose (for free), deserves immediate suspicion. Why, if this is any good, one wonders, do I not have to pay? Narrative magazine is a non-profit quarterly described as “the leading online publisher of first-rank fiction”(www.Narrative.com). In the magazines first issue, Fall of 2003, the editors and co-founders Carol Edgarian and Tom Jenks write their standard introductory note describing the reasons for Narrative’s creation.
“With Narrative, we hope to offer as transparent a medium as possible to connect readers and writers. We aim to advance no editorial stamp or personality such that anyone might say that a particular work is a “Narrative magazine” sort of piece; rather, our interest is in good writing and narratives that are entertaining, unpredictable, and charged with the shock of recognition that occurs when the human significance of the work is made manifest. We enjoy pieces in which the effects of language, situation, and insight are intense and total.” (Editors Note Narrative 2003)
Narrative is fully aware of the challenges it faces, in what it terms this “age of hypertexts and lowered literacy.” But in a surprisingly optimistic belief, Edgarian and Jenks claim their work is a “wish to signal…the durability of narrative traditions”. Well yes, I would agree with you two there, the narrative is likely to survive Google, but isn’t Perez Hilton’s blog a a narrative tradition? Ah ha, but they have Joyce Carol Oates. The fiction offered up by Narrative is not particularly innovating in style but is quite good and sturdy. The non-fiction they publish is also remarkable; essays by well known writers, like W. H. Auden writing on reading in the Winter 2008 issue.
One of the best perks of being an online journal is having “the space to publish substantially long pieces-not only novellas and excerpts but extensive, works-in progress”, as well as their ability to offer instant access to archives (www.narrative.com) . The magazines overall aesthetic is also notable. Their site is simply nice to look at, with easy to navigate links and pictures of the authors. There is a very unobtrusive quality to their page; everything is displayed simply without fanfare. The San Francisco Chronicle goes father to claim “Narrative is also atypical in terms of quality. There is no whiff of literary hipsterism here, no veil of coolness to cover up the mediocre writing that is often found in new publications by editors who have spent their college years boning up on David Foster Wallace.”
But the lack of a certain style is not a universal opinion, far from it. The site leaves you wondering… yes, it is an amazing feat to publish this much work and give it away to anyone with an email address, but how did they finance such a venture? I have looked for this information extensively and have only found again and again that Narrative is a “non-profit organization”. My interpretation of non-profit, in this case, is Edgarian and Jenks are bored and independently wealthy, which, let me clarify, is not a reason to dismiss or dislike the magazine. But it does put a tint on the utopian ideal of connecting readers and writers. As one very angry blogger commented, “Yes, Jenks and Edgarton, a loving couple, a "symbiotic" match made in yuppieville, took time off from writing their own, "acclaimed" novels and went to Martha's Vineyard to put together their revolutionary website. How revolutionary?” (www.wetasphalt.com). However, no one can deny that if the goal was to offer easy access to good prose and poetry, Narrative has succeeded. I suppose the lesson with Narrative, and others of its type, is a simple one: don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but don’t give it your email address either, unless you’re ready for some serious spam.
By Gabrielle Reed
“With Narrative, we hope to offer as transparent a medium as possible to connect readers and writers. We aim to advance no editorial stamp or personality such that anyone might say that a particular work is a “Narrative magazine” sort of piece; rather, our interest is in good writing and narratives that are entertaining, unpredictable, and charged with the shock of recognition that occurs when the human significance of the work is made manifest. We enjoy pieces in which the effects of language, situation, and insight are intense and total.” (Editors Note Narrative 2003)
Narrative is fully aware of the challenges it faces, in what it terms this “age of hypertexts and lowered literacy.” But in a surprisingly optimistic belief, Edgarian and Jenks claim their work is a “wish to signal…the durability of narrative traditions”. Well yes, I would agree with you two there, the narrative is likely to survive Google, but isn’t Perez Hilton’s blog a a narrative tradition? Ah ha, but they have Joyce Carol Oates. The fiction offered up by Narrative is not particularly innovating in style but is quite good and sturdy. The non-fiction they publish is also remarkable; essays by well known writers, like W. H. Auden writing on reading in the Winter 2008 issue.
One of the best perks of being an online journal is having “the space to publish substantially long pieces-not only novellas and excerpts but extensive, works-in progress”, as well as their ability to offer instant access to archives (www.narrative.com) . The magazines overall aesthetic is also notable. Their site is simply nice to look at, with easy to navigate links and pictures of the authors. There is a very unobtrusive quality to their page; everything is displayed simply without fanfare. The San Francisco Chronicle goes father to claim “Narrative is also atypical in terms of quality. There is no whiff of literary hipsterism here, no veil of coolness to cover up the mediocre writing that is often found in new publications by editors who have spent their college years boning up on David Foster Wallace.”
But the lack of a certain style is not a universal opinion, far from it. The site leaves you wondering… yes, it is an amazing feat to publish this much work and give it away to anyone with an email address, but how did they finance such a venture? I have looked for this information extensively and have only found again and again that Narrative is a “non-profit organization”. My interpretation of non-profit, in this case, is Edgarian and Jenks are bored and independently wealthy, which, let me clarify, is not a reason to dismiss or dislike the magazine. But it does put a tint on the utopian ideal of connecting readers and writers. As one very angry blogger commented, “Yes, Jenks and Edgarton, a loving couple, a "symbiotic" match made in yuppieville, took time off from writing their own, "acclaimed" novels and went to Martha's Vineyard to put together their revolutionary website. How revolutionary?” (www.wetasphalt.com). However, no one can deny that if the goal was to offer easy access to good prose and poetry, Narrative has succeeded. I suppose the lesson with Narrative, and others of its type, is a simple one: don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but don’t give it your email address either, unless you’re ready for some serious spam.
By Gabrielle Reed
Thursday, October 16, 2008
10-16-08 Thursday Week Seven
Calm down everyone! Oh my GOD! I know my thousands of loyal readers, waiting at the edge of their keyboards for my week six installment of this blog were horribly disappointed last week. But it was fall break puppies, come on.
Anyway stop calling, jammin up my voice mail with your pleads, Im back. And you bet your sweet asses, I'm ready to discuss Creative Writing Communities.
Let me roll up my sleeves. Ahem. Wait for it...
I began reading Joshua Beckman's book Shake this week and it is a change of gears from Tracy K. Smith. We discussed in class today how Beckman literally makes his own books, which is both respectfully awesome, and like, oh come on, Josh, really? We spent so much time discussing the idea of consumerism, lit for profit/ lit for art, Beckman's education, his cute lil' books, we didn't even get to the poems, which is not our classes fault. Oh no. We are not ones to get side tracked. The fault is yours, Josh. If you had just published from some normal non-conversation starting press we could have actually focused on your poetry. So there.
No but seriously I haven't read any poems. Every time I try to open the book I end up staring blankly at the cover and running my fingers over the pretty paper.
Expect another post soon. When I make it to page one ;)
Anyway stop calling, jammin up my voice mail with your pleads, Im back. And you bet your sweet asses, I'm ready to discuss Creative Writing Communities.
Let me roll up my sleeves. Ahem. Wait for it...
I began reading Joshua Beckman's book Shake this week and it is a change of gears from Tracy K. Smith. We discussed in class today how Beckman literally makes his own books, which is both respectfully awesome, and like, oh come on, Josh, really? We spent so much time discussing the idea of consumerism, lit for profit/ lit for art, Beckman's education, his cute lil' books, we didn't even get to the poems, which is not our classes fault. Oh no. We are not ones to get side tracked. The fault is yours, Josh. If you had just published from some normal non-conversation starting press we could have actually focused on your poetry. So there.
No but seriously I haven't read any poems. Every time I try to open the book I end up staring blankly at the cover and running my fingers over the pretty paper.
Expect another post soon. When I make it to page one ;)
Monday, October 6, 2008
10-2-08 Thursday Week Five
The class after the reading and Prof. Row is back (yeah!) but not in the best health (boo). We had a guest speaker a recent TCNJ alum who was working in the field of "arts management". I am grateful to Prof.Row for setting this situation up because honestly that is what graduating seniors want to know. How do you actually get a job? And what kind of Jobs are there? The speaker was a sweet guy and very nice to come back and talk to us. I did not know that there were master programs like the one he described it was educational and interesting.
I think I'm just going to get married and have a child when I graduate. I love school and using my mind and fighting to be the quickest and the sharpest. I love ideas and arguing and analyzing and understanding the world in a deeper way through reading/writing. But that deepness can also feel superficial, like an idea is never going to be tangible. You can never snuggle it. You can never dress it up in little baby clothes and smell its little head. Babies you can do this with.
I need a break from the abstract and four to five years of being a wife and a mother and then Ill go get my five year masters in "the complex administrative maneging of the theoretical and rhetorical arts", except by then it wont be called that, and everyone will be doing something else, and Ill be 28, an old fart. Just kidding.
Who knows what the future will bring us. But it was really great to hear from a man just recently in my place, and the shape his path has taken so far.
I think I'm just going to get married and have a child when I graduate. I love school and using my mind and fighting to be the quickest and the sharpest. I love ideas and arguing and analyzing and understanding the world in a deeper way through reading/writing. But that deepness can also feel superficial, like an idea is never going to be tangible. You can never snuggle it. You can never dress it up in little baby clothes and smell its little head. Babies you can do this with.
I need a break from the abstract and four to five years of being a wife and a mother and then Ill go get my five year masters in "the complex administrative maneging of the theoretical and rhetorical arts", except by then it wont be called that, and everyone will be doing something else, and Ill be 28, an old fart. Just kidding.
Who knows what the future will bring us. But it was really great to hear from a man just recently in my place, and the shape his path has taken so far.
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