OMG! Prof. Row what is up with not grading me? Let me explain something, my self-esteem and existential anxiety-level are dependent on two things: first and foremost, my weight, and second, my grades. Without theselittle letters and numbers to rank my worth I am entirely lost. There'sno innate understanding of self-value in Gabby's world. It comes from the outside, from scales and mirrors, and professors like yourself. I appreciate your constructive criticism on my creative response, as a student it really does mean alot to know that a teacher took the time to read and respond to your work but...there is no grade. I looked its not there! And just judging from your comments, you have to know, I am imagining horrible things like Cs and B-s. Now if this is where I stand on the particular assignment that is fine, I respect your authority as a teacher and will accept the bellow A grade stoically. I'm not one to make a scene and promise to wait to be in my car before I start crying. But, you see I need to know what it is, like ripping off a band aid just give it to me... maybe like a B+? I didn't know our poems had to be like , good, (just between us and whoever is reading this blog I'm actually a pretty bad writer) but I thought the grades would be based not just on our work but also on how we interpreted and managed our subjects work, which I was really very thoughtful about.
Im taking a deep breath. O.k. My grade is what it is. I am letting it go. I am visualizing. I put it in a box I wrap it up and throw it off the steepest cliff into the ocean.
I am not my grades or my not so wonderful paper comments. I am whole. I am perfect. I exsit in a world beyond words and ego and persons, everything melds together and I am just a part,not seperate,impossible to distinguish,just a peice of seeweed floating in the ocean.
And I lost a pound, so, despite being gradeless, my existence is obviously still justified.
Monday, November 3, 2008
10-30-08 Week Nine Missed Class :(
I did not make it to class today because I was sick. Not to sick to get out of bed but to sick to be useful. So I missed the vote, which is fine, because I like so many authors we picked Im sure some good names will emerge.
Lets see what can I write about at all related to this class...um well, I started reading Karen Russell's book only the first ten pages or so but so far I really like it. Also recently I went to a TCNJ deaf hearing connection event of a man promoting his memoir. And it was amazing, like really good, I started thinking maybe we could book him for the VWS, but of course his book is not fiction it is a memoir and I think it is the story, not his prose, that got it published. But his anecdotes and personality were so consuming I could have listened to him for hours.
That's all I have for this post but I will compensate with longer ones next week.
Lets see what can I write about at all related to this class...um well, I started reading Karen Russell's book only the first ten pages or so but so far I really like it. Also recently I went to a TCNJ deaf hearing connection event of a man promoting his memoir. And it was amazing, like really good, I started thinking maybe we could book him for the VWS, but of course his book is not fiction it is a memoir and I think it is the story, not his prose, that got it published. But his anecdotes and personality were so consuming I could have listened to him for hours.
That's all I have for this post but I will compensate with longer ones next week.
10-27-08 Week Nine 2nd Next Years VWS
Professor Row,
If you are reading this, which I doubt, I was wondering how to go about finding where I stand grade wise in your course. I think Ill bring this up with you in class or office hours as well (that is probably most appropriate) but it was on my mind and I know some other students are wondering as well so I thought I would mention it in my blog and maybe you could explain your grading process to the class.
So today in class we went over the first round of authors and there were some really interesting people brought up. I really liked Arielle Greenberg who wrote the poem about the house/abusive relationship. Also the woman who wrote about the pregnancy test. When reading poetry I typically encounter the assumption of a male perspective and by switching this norm her poem really highlighted the subtle but present male pov that most literature, poetry, culture comes out of.
Taking a pregnancy test and having it be negative is a typically, somewhat universal, female experience, and Rachel Zuker did not explain anything. Most women know what one bar means, men I'm not so sure. The moment of peeing the the stick and looking is played over and over in films and often I feel like they don't get it right, seems like a man directed the scene. The familiarity of the female experience is so implicit to her poem that it is almost too obvious to recognize. I just read it and thought yes, that's how it is. And then looked around at the men in the class and thought, theyre really not ever going to get this. They understand the poem but the expereince is both private and uniquley female out of a mans grasp.
Great class discussion and presentations, really enjoyable as always.
If you are reading this, which I doubt, I was wondering how to go about finding where I stand grade wise in your course. I think Ill bring this up with you in class or office hours as well (that is probably most appropriate) but it was on my mind and I know some other students are wondering as well so I thought I would mention it in my blog and maybe you could explain your grading process to the class.
So today in class we went over the first round of authors and there were some really interesting people brought up. I really liked Arielle Greenberg who wrote the poem about the house/abusive relationship. Also the woman who wrote about the pregnancy test. When reading poetry I typically encounter the assumption of a male perspective and by switching this norm her poem really highlighted the subtle but present male pov that most literature, poetry, culture comes out of.
Taking a pregnancy test and having it be negative is a typically, somewhat universal, female experience, and Rachel Zuker did not explain anything. Most women know what one bar means, men I'm not so sure. The moment of peeing the the stick and looking is played over and over in films and often I feel like they don't get it right, seems like a man directed the scene. The familiarity of the female experience is so implicit to her poem that it is almost too obvious to recognize. I just read it and thought yes, that's how it is. And then looked around at the men in the class and thought, theyre really not ever going to get this. They understand the poem but the expereince is both private and uniquley female out of a mans grasp.
Great class discussion and presentations, really enjoyable as always.
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